im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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