I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
