what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
