I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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