I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
