is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
