You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Randomize
