I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
