There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
