We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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