Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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