her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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