I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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