dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
