Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize