That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
