is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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