apparently the secret to your success is patron
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
