I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize