If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
