I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
