My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
