R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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