I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
