Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
