I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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