Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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