Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
