Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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