I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You made out with two different species that night
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
