so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
