That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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