Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
