Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
