Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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