I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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