You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think your dad took our porno
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
