The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
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