Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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