"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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