We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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