Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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