As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize