google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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