you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
