I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sext me about skeletons
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
