I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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