We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize