i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize