sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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