Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
