I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My vagina is officially offended.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
