I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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