summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
