Can i not drive my cunt home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
