A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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