$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
