Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sponge bath it is.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
